A Different Kind of Reality Check
What I'm talking about is powerful and precise. Nothing passive about it.
If you’re caught in a loop of overthinking, uncertainty, or just straight-up worry, well, hello there, we have a lot in common.
But here’s the deal: no matter what is going on around us, I want to be healthy. I want to feel good, live my values, and work toward positive change for myself and others. I will not let the turkeys determine my happiness or diffuse my po.
So, I’m leaning into acceptance.
Life feels messy right now. But, honestly, it always is. There will always be challenges and uncertainties we must face and manage.
Our upset does not change reality. Our actions do.
With acceptance, we have greater agency and power.
Acceptance is not resignation.
It’s not giving up. It’s not saying, “Oh well, guess this is my life now. Too bad.”
Acceptance is the radical act of seeing things as they are so you can respond with clarity instead of panic.
It’s recognizing, This is happening. This is where I am right now. And from that place, you get to choose your next move.
Here are three ways to practice acceptance when everything feels like a sh*tshow:
Drop the “shoulds.” Instead of “This shouldn’t be happening” or “I should have done this differently,” try “This is happening. Now what?” Removing the struggle against reality frees up mental energy to deal with it.
Pause before reacting. When emotions surge, take a deep breath. Like, deep down into your belly, and then name your feeling: “I feel uncertain. I feel scared. I feel frustrated.. I feel confused and anxious.” Deep breathing helps us move from our fight, flight, freeze—lizard brain—into something less freaked out. Naming the feeling creates some psychological distance from the experience and helps us be more responsive and able to take actions that can improve the situation.
Focus on what you can control. Acceptance doesn’t mean you stop trying; it means you stop trying to control the uncontrollable. Ask yourself, What is one small, helpful action I can take today? Then, do that.
The more we practice acceptance, the more agency we gain. We stop wasting energy resisting reality and start using that energy to shape what comes next. Acceptance allows us to be deliberate and intentional in our choices and actions. It clears our minds and makes room for creativity and problem-solving.
Then, instead of being stuck in the mess, we can see the best way forward and move in that direction.
There is power in that.
—p
Polly Campbell, Simply Said is a reader-supported publication. That means I don’t get paid for the hours of research or writing I spend on these pages unless you become a paid subscriber. I’d be so grateful if you did. Please, hit the “Subscribe now” button above and become an annual subscriber for less than the cost of one margarita a month. My intent here is to leave things a little better, to empower and inspire, and to help us all become happier, healthier people so that, in our own unique ways, we can change the world. I believe in us. Thanks for helping me continue this work.