Cut the Comparison Chatter
Measuring our worth against others, only moves us away from what we most want: peace, joy, health, connection, growth.
Social comparison can go two ways, according to social psychologist Leon Festinger.
Upward Comparison – Looking at those who seem “ahead” (cue the influencer vacations and six-figure success stories).
Downward Comparison – Measuring against those who seem “behind” (which doesn’t actually make us feel better long-term).
Either way, it messes with our minds, chips away at our well-being, adds to our stress, and harms our relationships. Worse yet, it can keep us from pursuing our greatest goals and dreams. Always trying to measure up to others or fighting to be something we are not out of fear of being judged depletes the energy we need to move forward in our lives and achieve the things we most want.
Social comparison is also part of being human and a particular threat with all the scrolling we do on social media.
Stop the Scroll
The key is to catch it before it becomes a problem. Here are some ways to do that. And in Polly Campbell, Simply Said Ep. 302, I offer some more ideas.
Notice what’s going on in your body. How do you feel?
When we are comparing ourselves to clothes, it can feel like:
That gut punch when scrolling makes you feel less-than.
Obsessing over someone else’s wins instead of focusing on your own.
Feeling like you’re falling behind based on someone else’s timeline.
Identify what your thoughts are focused on. Are you noticing what others are up to? Or concentrating on what you are doing and wanting to create?
Shift your focus back to what you are working on and what you value. Try this three-step approach:
Reframe: Instead of “I’m behind,” ask, What can I learn from this?
Curate: Follow people who inspire, uplift, not those who trigger self-doubt.
Perspective: No one’s life is as perfect as it looks online or in the media.
Do the best that you can. It is enough to make a positive difference and be successful.
—p
Polly Campbell, Simply Said is a reader-supported publication. That means I don’t get paid for the hours of research or writing I spend on these pages unless you become a paid subscriber. I’d be so grateful if you did. Please, hit the “Subscribe now” button above and become an annual subscriber for less than the cost of one margarita a month. My intent here is to leave things a little better, to empower and inspire, and to help us all become happier, healthier people so that in our own unique ways, we can change the world. I believe in us. Thanks for helping me continue this work.