Things Change, Let's Make It For the Better
We can decide right now to be kind and compassionate, to be tolerant and curious. We can decide right now to do better and then, not only will we live better, we will make the world a better place too
Happy New Year.
Back in junior high, we used to subtract the years to see how much time was left until the turn of the century. We’d be in our 30s by then, we calculated.
Wow, that’s old. Wow, everything will be different.
Now, a quarter century in (can you believe it?), some things are different. Life is dynamic and progressive, and if we’re doing it right, there will be change and growth. The world changes and so do we. And yes, I am older. But old looks different now. It’s more alive. I’m more alive.
I’ve graduated, built a writing career, gotten married, raised a child—and as this year comes to a close, I am all, “whelp, didn’t see that coming” about some things. And excited too about what might come next.
100 Percent Success Rate
Of course, I want this life to be all rainbows and unicorns, but it won’t be. Of course, it won’t be, and that adds to the intrigue. But I do know that we can handle whatever comes our way. We may not like it, we won’t leave unscathed, but we can do it as we have done it before. My track record of surviving tough stuff is one hundred percent—and if you're here reading this, that means yours is too.
I’m not blaming others for all the baloney in life, too late for that, but I am looking at ways to be a little softer and more present in the world. I want to see things clearer and then help in the best ways to dismantle the systems that perpetuate inequality, disparity, and the harmful beliefs that some people don’t matter while others think they matter more than anyone else.
It’s OK To Feel Good, Even When Things Are Bad
I’m not going to feel bad this year. It’s OK to be inspired and excited and joyful. But I am going to feel motivated to learn and grow and volunteer and give money and help out by supporting the things I want to see in the world. And what I want to see is hope. More kindness. More tolerance. More space for people to live and love and work and care for their health in the ways they want to, in the ways that are right for them. In the ways they decide.
As many of you know—and some of you subscribe to both, thank you—I write two Substack columns. Simply Write, where we explore the craft of writing and building a writer’s life, and Simply Said, where we discuss practices that help us live well, do good, and find happiness.
Usually, these columns cover different topics. But today, I’m merging them, because I’ve realized that the same habits and attitudes that make for a great writer are also essential to living a great life.
Creating Better Stories, Making A Better Life
To be successful as writers and human beings we have got to be open. Intolerance leads to bitterness, narrow-mindedness, and fear. And those qualities keep us from thriving, both on the page and in life.
The good news? We don’t have to be those people. The choice is ours. That’s the real power we hold, no matter what is going on around us, we can choose to act differently.
This isn’t to ignore the real dangers posed by those who seek to deny basic human rights. It’s about recognizing those dangers and choosing to shine a light on them through our work and lives by doing the opposite—by loving better, by telling stories.
Open Minds, and Hearts
We need to develop everyday courage, to step up and put ourselves out there on the page and in the world.
We need to pause and be mindful. To detach from the stress. To notice the reality and the beauty. And give thanks for the moments we have. It’s only then that we have the clarity we need to express big ideas in our work and recognize that the differences we see in others are not problems; they are only differences.
We must be open and tolerant of the things we don’t know so that we can learn and populate pages with the complex and beautiful and difficult and strong characters representative of us all.
Most writers I know really feel what they write. It’s painful and vulnerable at times. It’s joyful and hilarious too. That’s how we make the stories and essays come alive on the page because we write them real. This is how we live a good life too. Not by judging ourselves and others. Not by legislating people's medical choices. Not by yelling over those we disagree with.
When we open our hearts to people who are different from us, we live richer lives. And by paying attention and being curious we can tell a more compelling story with love and compassion, true facts, and big ideas. My hope is that those stories inspire and motivate others to live better, then, too. Afterall, we are a product of the stories we have been told.
Live Well, Write Well
To write well, we must live well. We must be engaged in the world, care for others, understand both joy and pain. Lead with compassion—for ourselves and others—because if we can’t do that we’ll never have the courage to create and share our work with the world.
We must stay curious. It will make you a better writer and your characters more interesting.
To write well, you must live with heart.
To live well, you must do exactly the same thing.
Let’s be mindful in our lives, let’s breathe in deeply and give thanks loudly.
And hey, I get that it’s not always easy. I spent 40 minutes on the phone with the cable company this week. It sucked. We have some big challenges ahead. There are hungry people in the world, many of us have serious health issues and family stresses, and I’m not even talking about the state of our global leadership right now.
Stardust and Compassion
But, I had the best coffee today, and the camellias alongside the front door are blooming carmine red in the middle of winter! And I heard from a stranger that the podcast made them feel better, and my friends are funny and supportive. And then, too, I remember that we are made of the exact same components that make up the Universe. That stuff is in us too. Stardust. Think about it, we are part of it all.
When we remember who we are and decide to extend our compassion and kindness, when we rise above the rhetoric and do what’s right for the people around us, we will become better, and so will the world.
And then, just imagine the stories we can tell.
Be well, Friends and Simply, Write.
-p
“Instructions for living a life.
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.”
―Mary Oliver